Where Has All the Common Sense Gone?

This was taken from a newsletter at PineconeResearch.com
As George Carlin once said, "Some people need practical advice."
Here are some of the wackiest warning labels of the past few years according to the Michigan Law Suit Abuse Watch website (www.mlaw.org.):• A label on a baby stroller warns: "Remove child before folding."• A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: "Harmful if swallowed."• A popular scooter for children warns: "This product moves when used."• A 9x3-inch bag of air used as packing material cautions: "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow or flotation device."• A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."• The label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in "blending, whipping, chopping and dicing," warns: "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."• A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."• A label on a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping."• A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."• The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."• A smoke detector warns: "Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire."• A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without clothing ... and, NEVER force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."• A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place."• An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." • A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: "Do not use as a ladder."• A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner."• A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use."• A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."• A snow blower warns: "Do not use snow thrower on roof."• A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."• A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution — Risk of Fire."• A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."

Gravity Shoppe

Wood working meets precision time instrument meets better mouse trap. Get ready to go "Whoa!" The Gravity Shoppe

Kentucky Factoids

Here is a link that I am borrowing from Brian Green's blog:

Kentucky Facts and Trivia.

I have been in Kentucky since 1993, and I have seen quite a bit of it since then, but I obviously have much more to see and learn about The Commonwealth.

IceCream Man

This news story occurred in my hometown of Mission, TX today. I am obviously busting with pride..........Not!!!

Texas Ice Cream Man Busted for Allegedly Selling Pot
Friday , May 25, 2007
MISSION, Texas — The jingle of the ice cream truck also meant pot sales on wheels, and at least one young customer figured that was not cool.
Police say an elementary school student tipped them off to an ice cream truck driver who was apparently selling $5 and $10 bags of marijuana from the truck. Most customers were in the third, fourth, and fifth grades.
"It's a scary thought, but that's the info we received," Mission police Chief Leo Longoria said.
The driver, a Mexican national, was arrested Thursday. Police on Friday were withholding his identity pending an expected arraignment on drug possession charges.
While police did not witness any sales, they did find packets of marijuana alongside the more traditional frozen treats.
News video showed the driver may have been doing some subtle advertising. While the outside of the truck was festooned with pictures of ice cream, pendants in the shape of marijuana leaves dangled inside the truck.

Mother's Day Story - Chap Stick

This is a story that was sent to me from Big Blake by way of my big brother Larry. Evidence that God has a sense of humor:

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom. Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done. Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said"chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

BarBQue Instructions

My brother Larry is by far one of the greatest cooks
in the world, and he sent me an email with this instruction
manual attached. Read and learn.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following
chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

1) The woman buys the food.

2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the
vegetables, and makes dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking,
places it on a tray along with the
necessary cooking utensils and sauces,
and takes it to the man who is lounging
beside the grill.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

5) The woman goes inside to organize the
plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that
the meat is burning. He thanks her and
asks if she will bring another drink
while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND
HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine......

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread,
utensils, napkins, sauces and brings
them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table
and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM
for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "Her night off."
And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's
just no pleasing some women...

Baby Got Book

The Cornett Family sent this to me. So, I'm placing all blame on them. If you aren't able to laugh at this, forgive me. Personally, I find it hilarious. Read some of the comments under it. What are your thoughts on the video; what are your thoughts on the comments? Baby Got Book